Lost One, Gained Another
by Trina-D
Summary: How Duke copes with the loss of his brother and Jennifer's role in his life during this time. Expanded scene in episode 4x07 and a slightly alternate 4x08. I wrote 97% of the story before I saw episode 4x08 and it closely follows the TV shows storyline.


"Lost One; Gained Another"

Summary:How Duke copes with the loss of his brother and Jennifer's role in his life during this time. Expanded scene in episode 4x07 and a slightly alternate 4x08. I wrote 97% of the story before I saw episode 4x08 and it closely follows the TV shows storyline.

Disclaimer/Author's Note: I don't own Haven based on The Colorado Kid by Stephen King.

My very first completed and posted fanfic! (Yea!)

Duke and Jennifer stood and stared in silence as Wade's corpse laid on the ground in a black body-bag, the remaining Crocker gazed very intently at his brother's body. "Besides my daughter who's living with her new family and Wade's child that I never see; I don't have any family left..." he said as tears streamed silently down his face.

"I tried so hard to get him to leave." he emphasized. ''Wade wasn't raised in this town; he wasn't cut out for the strange and deadly things that 'just happens' here. But I could tell he was losing his sense of self after the breakup with his wife. He was looking to belong here, to connect with me, bond like normal brothers do; something we did not have the chance to do growing up." Duke sniffled as his voiced cracked "And what did I do? Push him away, tell him to pack his bags and go". Duke then raised his voice to a higher, sunnier pitch and continued: " 'thanks for dropping your life and keeping my affairs in order for the past six months; not knowing if I was dead or alive or ever coming back. But I got this under control now, you can go on your merry way.'"

His voice then slowly raised to a deeper, angrier tone and he continued "I just wanted to keep him safe and away from the madness that is Haven and I failed. If I had been honest with him; explained to him all the negatives our trouble bring to us from the start...then maybe he would have gotten into his SUV and driven down Interstate-95 back to New York City at first sign of day break. Instead I handled him with kid gloves, spoke vaguely about our family curse. And what happens? Jordan gets close to him and filled his head with God knows what? "

"Duke!" Jennifer called out breaking his trance like monologue. "I could see how much you loved your bother. And you tried to get him to leave, you knew Haven wasn't the place for him but; he was intent on staying. Even after his 'trouble' started and he got consumed with the power that the blood gave him you still tried to reach him, to reason with him; but he was too far gone to be saved and he would have killed both you and me to satisfy his blood thirst if you hadn't stopped him. "

" Jennifer everything you say makes sense but he was my BROTHER! There was more I could have done, there had to be something, some sign that I missed. I was so consumed with Nathan, Audrey and this town that I practically ignored him; my own flesh and blood."

"Listen." Jennifer began "You may never forgive yourself but, I know you did all that was in your power to reach your brother. And even though you are a wanderer; this town is your home and you are just doing your part to make this place right. It's difficult now and you're in shock, in pain and grieving; but you will come through this stronger. " Jennifer paused and her voice got smaller. "I know all about loss; first my dad then my mom. I was about to have a family of my own but it wasn't to be; I had a fiance that died in a freak accident during his bachelor party a week before our wedding. The shock and stress of losing the man I loved so suddenly caused me to miscarry the child were expecting early on into my pregnancy. And my only other connection to this world: my birth parents are next to impossible to find. My adoption was a closed one, my family did not know anything about my biological parents, and my records are sealed... tightly." "But" Jennifer said as her voice brightened up "All these misfortunes has made me the strong woman I am today. Plus I have great friends, and 'aunts' and 'uncles' back in Boston that are my second family and I see that same kinship with you and Nathan; as much as you two want people to believe you can't tolerate each other." Her voice fell to a whisper as she carried on "I know otherwise, plus I see how much you care for Audrey and I can tell she cares for you also."

Duke begins to nod his head and says "You're right, they are like family and all I have left, so I can't tell them about any of this and neither can you. They trusted me to take care of this on my own, I begged Nathan to let me handle Wade. But, I let him and the others down and they've got too much going on. First: The Guard is breathing down their backs; secondly: they're trying to stop the troubles without killing Nathan and thirdly they're still hiding the fact that Lexi is really Audrey". "No" he says vehemently shaking his head "I cannot add this to their pile of worries.''

Looking at Duke solemnly in the eyes and nodding her head Jennifer replied "Okay Duke, we will keep this between you and me. But at some point the truth will come out and it's should come from you. If they find out some other way they'll be very angry." With a heavy sigh and his gaze to the ground Duke answered in a low voice "You're right. But now is not the right time; and my most immediate concern is giving Wade a proper burial."

Jennifer reached for her friend's hands and forced Duke to meet her gaze and whispered "We're in this together. You were there for me when everyone, myself included thought I was crazy. And now I can tell you are going to need someone to lean on and it's going to be me. "

"Jennifer, I can't ask this of you." he responded

"Well you're not asking, I'm volunteering." she said matter of factually "This is what friends do Duke. They step up in times of need and we are definitely friends and you need someone right now."

"Okay" he replied shaking his head in agreement. "I have to get Wade to his final resting place . My family has a cabin on a few acres of land in the backwoods. He won't be disturbed over there." Duke took one last look at his brother and then zipped the body-bag closed. " I'll wait till dark and then I will get going." he told Jennifer.

''No!'' replied Jennifer "WE'LL get going when it gets dark. You're not doing this alone!"

Duke sighed deeply and said ''You're staying here, you are already too deeply involved as it is; I'm not dragging you in any further."

"Duke, I am already all the way in." Jennifer responded confidently. "You are not doing this alone, I'm coming with you whether you want me to or not ." she finished, standing her ground on the matter.

"Jenniferrr..." he called out frustratedly dragging her name.

"No!" she replies strongly "It's not up for debate. We are in this together; the two of us. You saved my life, accompanying you is the least I can do."

"You don't owe me anything." he replies

"Yes, I do.'' she answers back "I want to do this; let me do this.'' Jennifer pleads with him with her words and eyes. Her speech and body language gets through to him and he concedes. "Alright, but I'm only trying to protect you. You've been exposed to way too much since your recent arrival in Maine."

After sunset Jennifer starts the engine of Duke's jeep and the tall bandit places his brother gingerly in the back of the vehicle. "I'll drive just tell me where to go." she says to her friend. "No." he replies "I'm okay to drive, plus we'll get there faster with me behind the wheel. I would rather focus on the road more than anything else right now.''

"Okay." she replied simply

As they set off on their somber journey a silence falls over the jeep. Duke was understandably in no mood to talk and Jennifer couldn't think of anything else appropriate to say; so a quiet persisted through the entire length of their journey.

As they turned off the road and arrived at the cabin, the landscape was pitch black with the exception of their headlights, which only illuminated objects a few feet ahead of them. The Bostonian could barely make out a house like structure and the rest of the space was filled with the silhouettes of very tall trees. "It's so dark out there. How are we going to find our way around?" asked Jennifer worriedly

"No worries my little city slicker. I know this place like the back of my hand. I spent many a weekends and holidays in these woods growing up." Duke replied in a rare moment of lightheartedness.

"There's a clearing up ahead and over to the west. We can get Wade settled just at the edge of it near the trees. My brother loved this place. He was more of a landlubber while I prefer the water. The few times we did spend together as kids in Haven we would always come up here because it's where he was happiest ." Duke finished as he reminisced about simpler, earlier times in his life. The pair then exited the Jeep and Duke removed his brother's body from the vehicle and hoisted it over his shoulder. They then proceeded to the large clearing off to the west.

The two began digging Wade's gave and an hour or so later they were finally able to place his body in the ground. One hour later the grave was filled in and it was time to say their last goodbyes. Jennifer went first " Wade, I didn't know you well, but from our short time together I could tell you were an incredibly helpful, caring and intelligent man. l hope you are now at peace and perhaps we will cross paths in our next lifetime.''

"Brother..." started Duke sternly "how I wish life dealt us a better hand, but we're 'Crockers' " he chuckled unbelievably "What else could we expect? l hoped we could have had a stronger bond and really gotten to know each other, but due to circumstances beyond our control it was not to be. Take care and don't worry about your child, I'll step up and be the greatest uncle there ever was. Maybe we will have a second chance as brothers in the next life or if we are really unlucky we'll get to do it again as sisters." Duke added jokingly. " You are now on a new journey, take care; and believe me you will be missed.'' he finished.

They stood there for a few more moments before making their way back to the jeep. Once again they drove back in silence, lost in their own thoughts and both exhausted after the strenuous events of the night.

As Duke pulled into the parking lot near where his ship was docked, it was still dark out. However, the sun was only a few hours away from making its appearance. The duo exited the vehicle and made their way to the _Cape Rouge; _"Well after the night we've had, I think we better jump into the shower and then hit the sack" said Duke casually.

Jennifer stopped in her tracks and just stood there. As Duke continued to walk he noticed the petite woman was no longer at his side. And then it hit him about how she interpreted is words. He turned around to look at her and said "You didn't think I meant TOGETHER, did you?" he asked incredulously "I'm talking about two separate showers and climbing into two separate beds, in two separate rooms. Nothing more, nothing less. Come on Jennifer, you have to have a little more faith in me than this. My brother just died by my hand less than twenty-four hours ago, I'm in no mood to try and pick up a woman. Besides, I like to believe that I have a smidgen more finesse and a way with words when it comes to the ladies and getting down to 'business'; than what just came out of my mouth." he concluded.

"Sorry Duke." she answered sincerely. "My brain isn't at 100%;. I was up all night with the Vince and Dave going through my adoption records and then we were up driving and digging and driving again. I am seriously sleep deprived and my mind doesn't work quite right unless I have had at least 7 or 8 hours of sleep. You're a good guy and I don't think you would use a situation like this as a way to get a woman into bed"

"Well then Jenn" he said as he smirked arching his left eyebrow up " I'm glad you didn't know the old Duke."

"Wow Duke! Really?" Jennifer replied incredulously as she playfully tapped him on the shoulder and walked past him on her way to the ship that they called home.

"I have first dibs on the bathroom." she yelled out behind her to her houseboat-mate. "Fine Jennifer." Duke replied "Just don't take a year and a day; I know how you women are." "And don't use all the hot water!" he yelled out.

"Stop generalizing Mister, I'm not your typically woman. No female is.." she called out playfully as she stepped onto the vessel.

Jennifer then proceeded to take a 20 minute shower which she believed to be completely reasonable considering all she had been through the night before. After she exited the bathroom Duke then hopped in and finished five minuets later.

"Do you want me to whip you up something to eat before I climb into bed?" he asked standing there in just a white towel wrapped around his waist while beads of water rolled down from his loose hair onto his well defined arms and abdominal muscles.

Jennifer stood in the kitchen in a soft pink, frilly camisole and shorts two piece pajama-set; covered up with her cozy camel colored bedtime robe sipping from a coffee mug. Exhausted and almost completely oblivious to the nearly undressed state of her houseboat-mate she replied "I can barely keep my eyes open much less eat anything. Though, you should probably put on some actual clothing if you are going to cook." she said with a hint of laughter in her voice. "But thanks for the offer, I just needed my ritual bedtime green tea'' she concluded.

"Well on that note I'm going to my bed.'' Duke then walked over to her and enveloped her in a tight warm hug and whispered into her hair "Thank you so much for your help and support. I may not have been able to get though the past 16 hours without you by my side. ''As Jennifer wrapped her arms around him to returned the hug she replied "Anytime. It's what friends do."

As they separated her eyes met his eyes and she said "See you in eight, maybe sixteen hours; that's how much sleep I'm going to need to recover from these past two days." ''No problem'' he replied, " I'll have a big bunch ready or maybe even the rare lunner on the dinning table if it's really late when you wake up."

"Yummy" she said half yawning, half talking "Maybe I'll dream of waffles or better yet pancakes!'' she grinned slyly

"Ha, ha Jenn." Duke said as he faked a half halfhearted laugh. "Not funny. Please do not disrespect waffles like that while under my roof." he said seriously and held a stern expression.

Three seconds later they were both busting out in a fit of laughter.

"Now we are officially delirious" said Duke "We need some shut eye pronto".

"I agree. Nighty, nite Duke'' said Jennifer

"Goodnight Jenn'' he replied.

And they then proceeded to walk towards their respective sleeping quarters.

A few hours later Jennifer was awoken by a low but consistent whimper coming from outside of her bedroom door. It was bothersome enough that it prevented her from returning to slumber; even placing a pillow over her head did not muffle the sound. Frustrated by the interruption she put on her robe and grabbed her emergency industrial flashlight. ''It better be a lost puppy or someone is going to get it on the head with this flashlight. You don't mess with a gal's beauty rest." she murmured to herself.

As she exited her room and walked through the ship she could tell the noise was coming from Duke's room. She then proceeded to knock lightly on his door but got no response, just the whimpering which was now louder. The petite brunette knocked again this time with more force, but she still got no response other than the persistent sound.

Jennifer took a deep breath and held it as she reached for Duke's bedroom door handle. Upon opening the door she saw her roommate clad only in his blue plaid pajama pants tossing and turning in his sleep with his face contoured in a pained expression. His whimpering was a lot louder now that she was at the source of the sound. Duke groaned and moaned in anguish. He then began yelling out: "No Wade! Stop! You have to control it. Please, Wade! Stop! I don't want hurt you! Noooo!"

It pained Jennifer to see her friend reliving the events of the previous day and having so much internal conflict. After observing him for a few moments she decided it would be best to wake him from his troubling sleep. She gently began to shake him and said: "Duke, wake up!" but he only continued to toss and turn in his sleep. "Duuuuke, wake up!" she said louder "You're having a nightmare!"

Just then the captain of the ship awoke in a startled manner out of his sleep. "Jennifer?" he asked confused with his hands now blocking the strong beam of her flashlight from his eyes. "What are you doing in my room and with a bright huge flashlight? Lower it! It's blinding me."

''Sorry'' she replied as she angled the flash light downwards "I heard the noise of a small hurt animal so l got out of bed to investigate. It turned out to be you having a bad dream and being very vocal in your sleep. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Warm coco? A bottle of water? A cool towel?" she asked him. "You're all hot and sweaty." she observed.

He sat up and just looked at her for a moment having been suddenly awoken "Yes." he finally responded ''A glass of water would be helpful and the towel too, please."

As Jennifer stepped out of his room to grab the requested items, Duke attempted to compose himself by running his hands though his hair, which was now free of its hair band and by rubbing his hands over his face.

"Here you go." Jennifer said as she returned and handed over the water and towel to him.

''Thanks." Duke responded and he began to gulp the water and then wipe his body of the sweat that had built up during his torturous sleep.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' his roommate asked hesitantly, while scrunching her face.

"Not really" he admitted honestly.

"Okay, well if you ever need to please don't hesitate. You can always come to me about anything." she replied "Do you need something else before I return to my room?" she asked

Duke thought about it and realized there was something he needed and began to ask hesitantly "Could you? ... Possibly?... Sleep in here... with me until I wake up?"

"l totally understand if it would be too weird for you." he added quickly "It's just that... ''

"Stop Duke." she interrupted softy "You don't have to explain. I get where you are coming from. Scoot over." she said motioning with her hands and tossing her robe on a nearby chair. "Just no snoring or kicking in you sleep or I might have to fling you out of your own bed.'' she added jokingly as she climbed in.

As they settled themselves in Duke's bed Jennifer proceed to turn towards him and leaned over to give him a quick peck on his cheek and wrap her hands around him. Slightly surprised but fine with the gestures Duke turned towards her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and returned her hug. The two then drifted off into restful sleep, while wrapped in the warm embrace of each other.

That's all folks! Should this be a one shot or should I continue. Please leave your thoughts, reviews, and comments. Thanks!


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